Dark Brown

White Skin and Long Dark Brown Hair

Growing up in the Philippines, I have always been exposed to the idea of colonial mentality. See, we have been colonized by Spain, the United States and other countries before we reached our own independence. So basically be "white" was to be cool. Or rich. Or important. Or what everyone wanted to be.

Everyone ogled when they saw a white guy in the street. People thought you were someone important if you are seen as friends or go out with one. And if you are actually "half" or are related to someone from another country, well, you're above everyone else.

I have friends from around the world. I have encountered in the different parts and stages of my life and we look as different from each other like a Benetton ad. If there really is something I learned of all the people who are now part of my life, but do not necessarily live next to me is that we are all the same. We all made of the same elements. Verify that each culture is different, but if you open yourself and your eyes and your home, heart Heck, you see that the person who speaks a different language completely different from yours can be your own soulmate. Any person, regardless of skin color or the dark hair, has dreams, and frustrations, and the theater with their boyfriends or girlfriends, and secrets. Everyone has a story to share.

I always get "Oh Elaine, you have friends so white" comment - sometimes as a way of teasing, sometimes as a form of flattery, and sometimes as a form of jealousy. What I feel most of the time, however, is poorly understood.

I choose my friends, not by their skin color or how exotic their emphasis is mine, but by how they treat me, how they treat other people, by the way we hear, by their values and outlook on life. I do not care if you look like a model that is off the track, Ralph Lauren or forgotten what a razor is once you've backpacked around the islands of the Philippines and Europe. I do not care even if you can write a paragraph in perfect English or can only speak straight Tagalog.

I know some people just want to have a foreign friend. Or a boyfriend abroad. Okay, I understand. It seems cool. But at the end of the day you see someone is not what they look like but by who they are. He is sharing a joke or a language that you both can understand. It is knowing that you're not past the physical stuff and you know things that you see on the outside really not saying much about what's in your heart.

The funny thing is that the people I'm closest to are those who live farther away from me. Thank you God for the internet to make them feel closer. But do not be understood in a society where people think you're different Just because you mix with people of another country can become frustrating. It's as if sometimes I am treated like a stranger. Whether people can not cover me anymore. The truth is that I am like everyone else.

I'm Elaine. I am a Filipina. I have tan skin and long brown hair dark. I know that if you love me just because you think that this combination seems exotic. I can detect bullshit. I am a mixture of where I grown and all the other new places I call home now. I left myself and given pieces of my heart to people I may never see and I have brought with me. I know that when we love for what I am. And I know when I love you too, not for what you like, but who you are.

WHAT I AM REALLY mean is, I hope people can get past the white skin or any traces of the colonial mentality how they see other people. That French guy sitting next to Burger King loves you as much as you. That Australia is more slippers often as you do. That South Africa walk the streets? It balot can eat as much, probably more, as you can in one sitting.

See beyond the skin and be proud of who you are.

Because love and friendship, baby, know no borders. ?

- Elaine Abonal

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